As Changing as the Sun
by cause.A.scene
Summary: [Jericho] Jake, along with his mother reflect on the hardships of life after the bombs. A nice little fic about mother and son


Jake Green sat down on his mother's couch for what seemed like the first time in years. There was no doubt about it, he was exhausted and his body reminded him of that every second of the day.

The problem was, sleep hadn't been the easiest thing for him to accomplish ever since the day he left Jericho five years ago, and then it only got worse during his time overseas. A lot worse.

Now, when he thought there was no possible way he would be able to make it through another day with any less sleep, he had proven himself wrong.

It wasn't the actual bomb that had worsened his sleeping abilities, it was everything that happened because of it. It was little girl on the bus, Heather leaving, that man with radiation poising, the accident, all those dead people, April dying..

He stopped.

April passing away had been the most horrible thing he had encountered since the bombs. In fact, it might have even been one of the worst things he had ever experienced. Of course, the things that happened in Iraq and the little girl had been… nothing short of devastating and life-changing, but when April died, there was nothing he could do about it. He just sat there and watched a beautiful person, inside and out, that he had known for so long slip away, and the unborn baby along with her. He knew that the baby had been dead long before April died, but it didn't matter.

It had just been too much.

And then, just today, he had watched it all happen with the refugees. Well, they weren't really refugees anymore, Jake corrected himself.

He sat there and continued to reflect. His mother was next door showing some of the refugees, no, their new neighbors, their new home and his dad was still in town checking on Grey Anderson.

He wished he could just stay on this couch forever and never have to think about anything ever again unless it was positive. There wasn't much of that left around here anymore. At least, he didn't really see any of it. He was too busy running around town.

There was no way he could consider himself a hero or savior of Jericho in any way, as he had been called a couple of times by others, because there was no way he could be a hero. He just didn't fit the profile, which didn't bother him at all. Besides, everything he did was for his family and for the town of which grew up in. The town of which he knew he owed so much to. Let alone how much he owed his family for the pain and worry he caused them.

It wasn't him being a hero, it was an attempt to repay all the people he had hurt in the past.

Jake sighed, knowing that the dept would never be fully repaid.

Just then, he heard the front door open. Part of him wanted to pop up and see who it was, but his body disagreed, so he stayed and watched his mom walk to the opening of the living room.

She looked so sad. Jake's heart dropped at her red eyes and damp face shiny with tears.

He ignored his body's protests and went over to her. He said nothing, not knowing what should be said in a time like this, but just brought her into a warm embrace.

She, in return, brought her arms up and around her oldest son. She had stopped crying on the walk back over to the house, but with Jake holding her so warmly, she found she couldn't hold back the few extra tears.

She missed so much of how life was before the bombs, but this right here, her son she had longed to see for so long, along with the fact that she still had the rest of her family was what kept her going. Well, she had most of her family, she thought sadly, reminded of April and all of her things she had just given away.

They stayed this way for a few more moments, just feeling so right, until Gail noticed something a little off with Jake.

His body was shaking slightly and his breathing was coming in slow, shallow breaths. She pulled away from him and held him out in front of her by his shoulders to get a good look.

He looked awfully pale, more so than he had recently, he didn't hold his head straight, kind of letting it hang as though it was much too heavy, and his eyes were red with huge bags beneath them.

"Jake," his mother said, trying to mask her worry, "Are you ok?"

Instinctively, he tried to straighten himself up to appear better than he felt as to not worry and or upset his mother more. Besides, he knew that his well-being and how he is not taking proper care of himself had been an ongoing argument between he and his mom lately.

"I'm fine," he said with a small, very tired smile. "It's just been a long day, you know," he added at his mother's unconvinced look.

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"You seem to have a lot of those, huh?"

Jake shrugged and took a step back, trying to escape her glaring eyes. He knew the look all-too-well, and knew when it was time to tuck the tail and run.

"Jake, all I'm saying is that you get some rest or else you're going to work yourself to death," she said exasperatedly. "When _was _the last time you actually slept?"

Jake stopped shuffling across the living room floor. He knew he couldn't lie to her, she had always been able to see right through his lies.

"Last night," he answered quietly. It wasn't actually a lie, he just didn't add that it was from about eleven at night to about one in the morning.

"Oh really," she questioned, sensing that he was holding something back. "For how long," she continued.

Jake turned around quickly to face her.

"Mom, I'm fine, ok," he snapped, then walked past her. "I'm going to see if Dad needs some help."

Gail snapped around.

"Jake, wait. Just stay around a little longer, you're dad's fine." She had lost her accusatory tone and replaced it with that of a tired mother worried about her son.

Jake heard it plain and clear and the pain in her voice forced him to stop. He immediately felt bad for snapping at her, knowing that she was just stating facts. He did need sleep, he did need rest, but he had tried over and over… he just couldn't do it.

He looked into his mother's eyes, then nodded.

And then he saw that she was not only pleading with him for his sake, but for hers also. With both Eric and April gone, Johnston always in town and he would probably be down there even more now that Grey was recuperating, Gail didn't really have anyone with her at the house. And after everything that had happened, no one deserved to be alone.

Jake stepped away from the door, then walked over to her. He placed his hand lovingly on her shoulder and without saying anything, they both walked in the living room.

Gail fell back onto the couch took a deep breath and seemed to deflate as the couch formed around her. Jake took a seat across from his mom in the arm-chair by the fire and watched his exhausted mother.

"And when was the last time _you _slept," Jake questioned in a mock-motherly tone.

Gail smiled at her son's comment. He was just as stubborn as his father.

"Last night," she said simply.

Jake did say anything else, just sat and took in this rare peaceful moment with his mom.

"You know, when I was pregnant with you, your father and I fought over your name. We both agreed it would be after your grandfather, but we couldn't decide if we wanted to name you Eric, or Jacob."

Jake smiled, not knowing where this fact was coming from, but was interested to hear it.

"How'd you guys decide?"

Gail chuckled.

"Simple really, I didn't _love_ the name Eric."

Jake laughed out loud at this.

"Oh, so you decided to give the name to your second child instead? Some how that doesn't seem right," he said playfully.

Gail was now laughing as well.

"It's not like that… exactly," she tried to reason with him and herself, but Jake continued to laugh and shake his head. "Hey, it's not that I didn't _like _the name, it just wasn't my favorite."

"That's not a whole lot better, sorry Mom."

"Of course, you were the one that ended up being a spitting image of your Grandfather."

They both laughed and reminisced.

They had been successful in bringing up two people of whom they missed very much. Thoughts lingered over to Eric, doing God-only knew what in New Bern.

The room remained quiet until Jake noticed that his mom was snoring. He smiled sadly, both happy she was getting rest, but also a little envious that he couldn't do that himself.

He stood up from his comfortable domain, feeling that it was only teasing him, letting him have a taste of what he couldn't have.

He decided not to kiss his mom or anything, not wanting to wake her up. He slipped outside the front door and stood there taking in the sunset.

He marveled at it.

That sunset never changed. Not even the bombs altered it in any way. He wished that everything could be that way, at least sometimes.

But, like it or not, things change. People change.

Heck, he changed.

He took a deep breath then started his walk into, not knowing what would happen there, but whatever it was, he would greet it when it came. And he would do that as long as his body allowed it.

He thought back to his mom, well, as long as she allowed it too.

* * *

AN: Hoped you liked it. I really wish I could think of some more ideas because I really love writing Jericho stories, but its just not coming to me yet...


End file.
